Blog Moved

I have moved my blog to http://durhamm1988.livejournal.com/

Things to come in '09

New Years for me was pretty uneventful. I don't like going out on New Years because of all the drunk drivers and all. Plus, if I go to Des Moines and get drunk with friends, I have 25 miles between me and home. I just stayed here in town and went over to my parent's house. I had a few glasses of Bacardi and a glass of Plum Wine when the ball dropped. I rarely drink, so I was a little tipsy. Mom brought me home because she didn't want me to drive.

I started thinking about 2008, and it made me realize that it was not a great year for me at all. I quit the city ambulance crew in January. I stupidly invited an old Job Corps friend to be my roommate in February and kicked him out two weeks later. I got myself into a lot of debt in the Spring, and I'm just now almost out of debt. I lost one of my best friends, and I had to have hernia surgery in November.

I really hope 2009 turns out to be a lot better than 2008.

Peace!

2009?

The last few days have been... hectic. I really don't know where to begin. Christmas day was like most years for me. I went over to my parents' house to open gifts in the morning. My 8 year old sister had a great time. I didn't get much, but that's ok. Christmas is not what it used to be anyway. Christmas is not about presents to me anymore. Besides, I got the one thing I asked for, an electric razor.

Mom, my stepfather, and I lounged around the house all Christmas day while my sister indulged in her new toys and the cat had a blast in the wrapping paper.

Everything was going great... until today. Every year on the weekend following Christmas, my mom's side of the family gets together in a small hillbilly town in southern Iowa. We make the one hour drive to simply get together, eat, and then everyone scatters. The whole process takes about two hours (so much for family time). The biggest event at our gathering is the "men" of the family whipping out rolls of quarters to play poker. Meanwhile I sit alone, because my mom's family is not tolerant of me because I'm gay. These two hours are literally the worst part of the holidays for me. Sometimes I wonder why I participate in my mom's family Christmas gathering. In fact, if it weren't for my mom asking me to go every year, I wouldn't. I could care less what my family thinks. One day I'll have my chance to throw it back in their face. That day will be a great day (to say the least).

I'm not doing anything for New Years. I'll most likely end up doing nothing. I thought about going to a gay friend's house and celebrating, but he's a horndog, and I don't feel like having sex (read my first blog post). I guess we'll just have to wait and see what New Years brings.

That's it for me. I'm off to bed.

Peace!

Family Christmas Gathering

So every year, my family on my stepfather's side of the family gets together and celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve, and this year just really sucked. I've recently had a lot of hard feelings against my stepfather, and participating in his family's events is kinda like walking naked into a grocery store... everyone stares at you like you're the scum of the earth. I know that he tells his mom everything that goes on about me, including my ABDL stuff. He watches me like a hawk, and when I know I'm being watched at the party, it makes it no fun. I'm seriously fed up with all the bullshit that goes on in my family, and the rejection I feel from them because of the fact that I'm gay and I love to be babyish. I want to just take off on a jet plane and go somewhere... ANYWHERE... as long as it's far away from my family. I know I shouldn't talk like that, but damn it, it's the truth. Christmas used to be my most favorite holiday, but I didn't even put up my tree this year. I feel so lonely. I have friends that I hang out with all the time, but that's not the point. I think I just have too much going on in my life. I need a break from it all.

On a positive note, it IS Christmas Eve (12:21 AM, so technically Christmas, but you know what I mean), so I should put on a happy face and share my favorite Christmas song with you. Merry Christmas everyone!

I Can Only Imagine

I know I posted already today, but I'm having one of those nights in which one questions their sexuality in relation to their beliefs. For those of you who don't know, I believe in Jesus Christ, and I strive to maintain a relationship with Him. It's not hard for me to maintain a relationship with Him, because I talk to Him all the time, and I love to feel His presence around me, but I struggle constantly with my sexuality and my faith. One song that really keeps me going is "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. I have listened to this song over and over tonight, and it has lifted me up again. I figured I would share it with you....

First Post

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